People will remember some of the good things you say from the pulpit, but they will remember all of the dumb things you say. I started preaching full-time almost thirty years ago, so I know exactly what my foot tastes like.

Today, I want to start a list of things to never say from the pulpit. I would really like to hear your nevers and share them next week.

1. “Can I get a volunteer to help in the nursery?”

There are two things very wrong about asking this question. First, you are saying that you are not prepared for children, and now everyone knows it. Second, you are saying that your church does not screen volunteers, which means you are assuming there are no predators in your pews. Criminal background checks should be made of every volunteer and staff who works with minors. There should be no exceptions or excuses.

2. “Does anybody know what time it is?”

Whether you are asking what time it is or which point you are on, what people actually hear you say is, “I’m a moron.”  

3. “I don’t feel good today, but I’m gonna preach anyway”

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